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The Dream That Felt Out of Reach There was a time when I only dreamed  about traveling. I longed for adventure, fulfillment, joy, passion, ease, and flow. But instead of feeling those things, I felt only lack . On the outside, my life looked fine. I had a roof over my head, food, loving family and friends, good health from running and gym sessions, and even the occasional camping trip in nature. But inside, I felt restless. Something was missing. Everything looked “comfortable,” but I felt off balance, stuck, and unsure how to move forward. Avoiding the Inner Struggle I lived like this for months, avoiding my uncomfortable emotions. But avoiding doesn’t make feelings go away - it pushes them deeper. What I learned is that emotions only move when we allow ourselves to feel  them. Not by analyzing or labeling them, but by letting them come in waves. Frustration might shift into anger, then shame, then grief - until eventually, the storm passes and you reach a neutral space again. The Breaking Point One night, after too many sleepless hours pretending I was okay, I broke down. Alone in my room, I collapsed onto the floor, rocking back and forth as tears poured down my face. I cried out to an invisible force: “Help me! I don’t know what to do.” For the first time, I let myself feel everything - without judgment, without pushing it away. My body shook, emotions poured through me, and eventually, I was exhausted. And in that exhaustion, I whispered the words that changed everything: “I surrender. I give up the need to control. Please, show me what I need to do.” The Surrender The moment I surrendered, my body softened. The shaking stopped. A calm washed over me. I didn’t get an answer, but I felt trust for the first time in a long while. Trust that somehow, everything would be okay. That night, I slept deeply. The next day I had more energy. Day by day, I felt lighter. The problems were still there, but they no longer controlled me. Following the Spark Even during my struggle, one desire kept tugging at me: to travel. At first, it felt impossible - I had financial struggles and no idea how to make it happen. Then came an idea: work on a yacht. I sold my unreliable car, took the courses I needed, and started applying. The process wasn’t easy. Most yacht jobs required me to be in Europe, with money for flights, accommodation, and months of “dock-walking.” I didn’t have those resources. So I also considered cruise ships, where contracts were longer but provided more security. For months, I sent out applications - 10 to 30 a day! Finally, one job caught my eye: a brand-new super yacht, technically classed as a cruise ship but small enough to still feel like a yacht. I applied, interviewed, and was selected. The Breakthrough A month later, I was in Spain, joining the crew of a luxury vessel that traveled through Europe and the Caribbean. I worked as one of five spa therapists, learned Forbes 5-star service standards, earned enough to pay back my debts, and eventually moved to Thailand. Looking back, just three years before, I couldn’t have imagined this life. But it began with that one night of surrender. That moment when I finally released control and allowed myself to feel. What I Learned About Healing This is what I've learnt, as an energy healer and through my lived experience: Healing requires us to release the emotions we’ve buried. Suppressed feelings become stagnant energy - this is the stuckness . Energy doesn’t disappear. It transforms, but only if we allow it to move. Expression - crying, journaling, moving, shaking, laughing - is how we let energy flow. It’s scary to face emotions because we fear the stories attached: What if this proves I’m weak? Worthless? Not deserving?  But those are only stories - beliefs we created long ago to survive. They are not who we are. And when you allow yourself to face them, you realize that you are far stronger than the stories. 2023 - A walk through a small marina town in Portofino, Italian Riviera A Note to You I know how difficult it can be to go through something like this - especially when you can’t quite put your finger on what’s “wrong,” you just know something feels off . If this is where you are right now, you don’t have to face it alone. My healing sessions  are designed to support you through these moments of stuckness, helping you release the emotions that weigh you down so you can move forward with clarity and trust. Or, if you’d like gentle guidance and inspiration sent straight to your inbox, you can subscribe to my newsletter  and stay connected with the tools and insights I share. Whatever step feels right for you... I’m here to remind you that you are not alone, and that change is always possible. 💜

The point of meditation is to quiet the mind. Allow gentle thoughts to move on... Thoughts that crowd the mind and don't have any significant presence will consume you if you allow them to. They'll become loud and confusing. You'll find it difficult to focus on the task at hand and this can cause a disconnection to who you really are at your core, your Higher Self. But sometimes the thoughts are there to be heard. These are messages from you and to you. When you really stop and take a moment to listen, they'll guide you and tell you what you need to know by bringing your attention to something in your life. And when ignored, these kind of thoughts will sit as emotional baggage in your physical body, and find another way to speak to you. This new language will come in the form of sickness, ill-health or bodily sensations like anxiety or depression. They'll create issues in your life to force you to stop and listen. Every single physical issue going on in your body right now is a means of communication from your soul to you. It's part of what is known as metaphysics. In order to truly overcome these issues or illness, you need to give it attention and find out what it's trying to tell you. Allow emotions to come up as you sit in silence and intention. Feel into them. Let them consume you. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will pass. And just as the calm is beyond the storm, so is the resolve to the stormy waters you're experiencing. It is law. There is balance in everything! What goes up must come down. But it won't just happen without you.

Worrying what other people think of you, can cause a lot of anxiety. Always wanting to please others and make them like you... Thinking that their thoughts about you matter, will dictate your every move and stop you from being yourself… From talking out openly and honestly. From saying things that need to be said. After years of this type of conditioning, you’ll lose touch with yourself, of your own values and opinions, while you aim to please. But at what cost? Worrying about other people's opinions of you will impact the way you think and feel about yourself... Your appearance and attitude. The feeling of not being good enough. Even if those close to you praise you, you'll overlook them and feel that they are just telling you things you want to hear. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash But, once you start the change, once you truly allow yourself to fully embrace the change on all levels of your being, and decide to connect with your ‘Self’, then all the worrying and self-doubt will stop. It’ll be a journey, as any type of change is. And it won’t be easy either. It will require courage, strength and willpower! Part of that change will require you to take a deep look within, at all the parts of you, to try and figure out the significance at worrying what people think of you. Your takeaway from this change will be shown to you as an understanding that, all of the worrying is actually a reflection of you, as you are the one having an opinion about them… You are having an opinion about them having an opinion about you! When you compare yourself to them, you have an opinion about the way you look or act. When you need their approval, you don’t approve of yourself. It’s only by going inward that you’ll start searching for all the reasons as to why you don't approve of yourself. It won’t be easy, as this sort of stuff rarely is, and you’ll need to take a good hard honest look at yourself. At your perfections and your imperfections. It's about facing those demons within and steering over the troubled water. It will break you down, to tears. It will become an emotional rollercoaster whereby all you can do is hold on. And then, one day, the sun will shine. It will start peaking through the clouds and you’ll be able to sense the hope and the love within. You'll have to dig deep and uncover the layers. And finally, when the clouds do clear, the sun will shine brightly in all her glory, and you’ll realize that the change has become you. And that you are the creator of your own thoughts and emotions. When your sun starts shining fully, you’ll realize that what other people think of you has absolutely nothing to do with you. You’ll understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion and that you’re ok with that. And, if they have any reason not to like you, then that is their own business! You’ll live your life with authenticity, love and honesty towards yourself. And if anyone has anything they don’t like about you, then that is their business, as life is only reflecting back to them what they need to face within. When this all changes, your anxiety will too! You’ll no longer live as the perfectionist version dictated by other people's thoughts of you. You’ll live life maximizing every opportunity that comes your way, as you’ll no longer be holding back. You’ll make more friends along the way and you’ll appreciate the old ones. Without your old way of thinking, you’ll no longer be standing in your own way, as, the biggest lesson you’ll learn out of all this is that, other people's thoughts of you aren't even their real thoughts of you and that they are your own as you have no way at all of knowing what anyone else is thinking! All change comes with a first step. And that is- the commitment needed to making that change, to have the intention to change, and to understand that it is a journey and not an overnight fix. Are you ready to take that first step?

What is Integrated Healing For Your Business? Well, let's start off by looking at what Integrated Healing is. IH is a form of Kinesiology. For anyone who may not know what Kinesiology is, it’s a way that we can tap into the Essence of the ‘Being’, to find out what is needed to overcome any issues that may be hindering the growth of the Being, and create changes that will make a positive impact, thus allowing the Being to reach their goals and fullest potential. The ‘Being’ here, being either an individual, or an entity such as a business. In IH For Your Business, we work with both the individual and the business combined as one, since you (as the holistic wellness professional) are the face and personality of your business, and your success is based upon your belief-system and your subconscious programs and patterns. Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash If we think of how everything that exists is made up of energy, vibrating at different frequencies, then we can begin to understand how Kinesiology and Integrated Healing work. The energy you put into your business is the energy you get out. The intention you set is where your energy will flow. We talk a lot about ‘Finding your flow’, and ‘Working with your own energy’. That is because what works for another person, where they find success, is not necessarily going to work the same for you and others. Business has changed quite a bit within the last 2 years and, sticking to the outdated ‘Business Model’, may only get you so far with it’s step-by-step guide and fool-proof-formula. These days, as an entrepreneur and especially so for someone working with her clients on a holistic level (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual), your success will often be determined by your mindset and your attitude- both these areas are fuelled by your belief-system and your subconscious programs and patterns. So what does this mean for you? Well, if you are holding on to a habit of thought that doesn’t serve you, putting yourself down with negative self-talk, doubting yourself, not feeling like you fully deserve the life you’re wanting to obtain or holding onto old and outdated belief-systems that tell you that you’re not good enough, not worthy enough or not experienced enough to fully succeed in your business, then inevitably, to some degree, that is what you will find. We can only fully embrace success when we know what that success looks like, what it feels like to be there even if it hasn’t happened yet, and to hold the beliefs that support it. Our beliefs, whether conscious or subconscious, coupled with our subconscious programs and patterns, will determine our reality. Subconscious programs and patterns are something we all have: This is the master program by which we live our lives . We hold many positive programs that often outweigh the negative, but it’s those negative ones that will hold us back from fulfilling our dreams or reaching our goals. Please understand that the word ‘negative’ here can sound quite harsh yet it’s simply a description for the programs we no longer wish to keep. At some point in our lives, we created those programs to keep us safe and functioning, yet as we grow we find we no longer have the need for these outdated programs, to the extent that they may even be hindering our personal growth. The good news is that we’re not doomed to living the rest of our lives with negative programs. What we want to do is turn these old and outdated programs into positive and empowering ones that will help us grow and reach the success we’re looking for, and that is where Integrated Healing comes in. Integrated Healing is a process that’ll help us overcome that old way of being, by assisting with the subconscious changes. What happens in a session? During a 1:1 session, we identify the issues with which you may find yourself struggling with in your business. If there are a few that you can think of, then we isolate the one which shows as the most priority and we work on that. Often, the one which shows the most priority is the one which will have a filter effect on the other issues, so by working through one issue, we often indirectly resolve or soften some, or all, of the other issues. From there, we’ll focus on the goal you wish to achieve. Incorporating a specific goal into the process is fundamental to the overall session, as things can only truly change when you know what you want. The techniques used to identify the priory issue, the goal, and any other relevant information that comes up during the process are Intuition, Muscle Testing and Pendulum Testing. A specific goal will help you move from where you are, to where you want to be- Envisioning what that goal looks and feels like is part of the process that we cover during an IH session. Making it as real as possible, and even living a moment or a day in that life in your mind, will assist in creating the shift you’re looking for. The subconscious mind doesn’t know what is real and what isn’t, so by creating an image or a movie, and playing it over in your mind, you begin to imprint into the subconscious mind of what you wish your life to be like. Remember- everything exists in vibrational form first, before it manifests into physical existence. Once information around your issue and goal has been collected, we then move onto the corrections phase. Essentially, we are finding out what is needed in order for the change to take place. This could be in the form of affirmations, crystals, essential oils, energy healing, chakra balancing, plant essences, imagery, meditations, thinking through future or past scenarios, tapping, understanding your story, inner child healing, etc- We look for the vibration most needed, in order to support the change, and now have the opportunity to change the outdated belief-system and self-limiting programs, into new empowering ones. Although as humans, we love to analyze ourselves and situations, and why things are the way they are, we must also keep in mind that Spirit is simple, and that we actually don’t need to complicate things by trying to analyze and understand everything. The changes can be small but will often be powerful still. It’s the shifts in energy that will create the change. A shift in thinking. A shift in perspective. We don’t always need to know or even understand how this is happening. Faith and trust in the process will get us further than the knowing and understanding of it. The last part of the session is now integrating the change. Instilling it with positive affirmations and words to live by. Claiming the change and making it yours! The session lasts around 1h30-2h00 and can be done in-person or over Zoom.

A lot of my anxiety used to come from worrying about what other people think. I was always trying to please others... To make them like me. Their thoughts about me mattered. Knowing that I was liked by everyone dictated my every move. But, it stopped me from being myself. From talking out openly and honestly. From saying things when they needed to be said. Eventually after years of this type of conditioning, I lost touch with myself, of my own values and opinions. I aimed to please. But at what cost? Other people's opinions of me impacted the way I thought of myself... My appearance, thoughts and attitude. Feeling not good enough. Even with though those closest to me praising me, I overlooked them as I felt it was just part of their loving duty to tell me things I wanted to hear. But, once I started changing, once I truly allowed myself to fully embrace that change on all levels of my being, once I decided to connect with my Self, that all stopped. It's been a journey (as any type of change is). It wasn't easy either, and required courage, strength and willpower! Part of that change was about taking a deep look within, at me, and try to figure out what the significance was that made me worry so much about other people's thoughts and opinions of me. My takeaway was that this was all a reflection of me. It was because I had an opinion about them! (Profound!!) I was comparing myself to them. I needed their approval as I didn't approve of myself. And by going inward I started searching for all the reasons as to why I didn't approve of myself... I must say, it wasn't easy. This sort of stuff rarely is. It's about taking a good hard honest look at yourself. Of your perfections and your imperfections. It's about facing those demons within and steering over the troubled water. It will break you down, to tears. It will become an emotional rollercoaster whereby all you can do is hold on. And then, one day, the sun shines. It starts peaking through the clouds and you can sense the hope, you can sense the love within. It was always there, I just had to dig deep. I had to uncover the layers. And finally the clouds cleared and the sun displayed all her beautiful glory. And then I realized that the change had become me. And that I am the creator of my own thoughts and emotions. When my sun started shining fully, I realized that what other people think of me has absolutely nothing to do with me. I understood that everyone has the right to their own opinion, and, quite frankly, if they have any reason not to like me, then that is their their own business, as life is just reflecting back to them what they need to face within. My life is now lived with integrity, honesty and love. When all this changed, and when I understood that, my anxiety did too. I no longer live as the perfectionist version of my former self that was dictated by other people's thoughts of me. I now live life maximizing my opportunity! I am making more friends along the way and I am appreciating my old ones. Without my old way of thinking, I no longer stand in my own way, as the biggest lesson I learnt out of all this is that other people's thoughts of me weren't even their real thoughts of me and that they were my own as I have no way at all of knowing what anyone else is thinking! How profound is that! It's crazy actually! This whole time, I was actually sabotaging my own happiness!

I first learnt about Fibromyalgia over 10 years ago, while working on the cruise ships on International waters, through a common complaint from my American passengers, who experienced widespread pain throughout the body. I was intrigued to find out more about their condition, as it didn’t represent the same type of muscular pain that most of my other clients would come to see me for, and I’d never heard of it in South Africa. It was at this point of my massage career, that I noticed that there was something more going on in the body- something deeper that caused all the aches and pains that many of my clients complained of- and not just from physical issues. Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness that shows up with symptoms of persistent pain within the body, sensitivity to touch, chronic fatigue, stiffness, trouble sleeping at night and waking up in the morning without feeling rested, headaches and cloudy or foggy mind. Not quite fitting into the category of an auto-immune disease, but it does have many similarities. At the onset, Fibromyalgia could easily be passed off as Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus, but the difference is that a person with Fibromyalgia experiences pain within their muscles, rather than the joints and organs. Also, although Fibromyalgia can impact quality of life, it is not life threatening and does not impact the immune system as does RA and Lupus, which is why it is not considered an auto-immune disease. It is a disease of the central nervous system. As I am not a medical doctor, I cannot provide a medical explanation of Fibromyalgia, but I can provide my understanding of it from the research I’ve done, and through my clinical experience as a massage therapist and Integrated Healing practitioner. It seems that long-term stress plays a huge role in the onset of auto-immune diseases and chronic illness. Disease could be thought of as dis-ease, which is dis-harmony within the body. Through my studies on Kinesiology and energy healing, my view on disease and illness is holistic in nature, which means that the mind, body and soul is all connected and that one cannot function without the others. This is where the mind-body connection comes in. Everything that is happening within our body is a direct reflection of what is happening within our lives… Every thought you think, will have an impact on the life you are living, to varying degrees. If there is turmoil in your life on the outside, there will be turmoil on the inside. Our bodies are our indicators for when we are not listening to our intuition, that gut-feeling, and our emotions, then we need to focus on our physical sensations to guide us. We should look at our physical issues as messages from our Higher self. Our bodies talk to us- we just need to listen. We all have a connection to the Universe, as we are all made up of energy from the same source. This is our soul- the spirit within us, our higher self- the part of us that is all-knowing of our true divine purpose. When we are born, our connection is very strong, but as we grow up, we start to forget our life purpose and lose this connection to our Higher Self. We become conditioned to society- to the beliefs of our friends and family and of our community at large. The connection to our Higher Self is never truly lost, just forgotten over time, and can be strengthened and improved when the intention is set. With all disease and illness, there is always a metaphysical meaning behind it. Metaphysics is concerned with the reality that exists beyond the physical world and our immediate senses. The metaphysical meaning of Fibromyalgia has to do with the Self, and it implies a loss of purpose or direction, almost as if the person experiencing the symptoms has lost all hope and has lost the desire or motivation for life- a loss of spirit or zest for life. Claudia McNeely, a patient of Fibromyalgia, provides more insight on her blog ‘askclaudia’: “Those of us with Fibromyalgia usually lead busy, driven, tense and stressful lives. We do not have proper boundaries and lack the ability to balance activity with rest. Many of us tend to be a door mat, allowing others to ‘step on us’.” The majority of people who experience this illness are women, who are natural caregivers and nurturers- always doing things for other people to make them happy without considering what will make themselves happy first. Dr Gabor Mate, through his clinical research on Multiple Sclerosis (an auto-immune disease of the spine and brain) observed that it was mostly women who are diagnosed with MS, and the same is true for many other disease and illnesses. Negative emotions which would surface through interactions with other people, situations or events, which were not expressed outwardly, would be stored within the body and eventually be expressed inwardly and manifest as disease and/or illness. In her blog, Claudia continues: “we have less tolerance, or patience, which creates a deep inner pain. This represents a repressed resistance to our circumstances, a longing to pull back, as our tolerance for what is happening whether in ourselves or in our world, is close to non-existent. This affects our entire nervous system causing sleep disorders and pain.” “The deep fatigue can indicate a longing to give up, an exhaustion from having to cope or to carry on beyond our limits.” “Muscle pain indicates psychological pain- such as anger, fear, insecurity, guilt or even self-punishment – are being expressed through the body. It signifies aching or longing for something or someone. It can also represent a deep desire for movement or change, but also inner resistance to movement. Many of the tender spots for Fibromyalgia are located on the back. Since our back is out of reach and out of sight, it is the perfect place to hide emotions or issues that we don’t want to deal with. Since we can’t see them, neither can others. These hidden emotions can include anger, fear, exhaustion, guilt or lack of forgiveness. Fear of abandonment and being vulnerable can be hidden in the back as well.” Louise Hay, queen of affirmations, explains Fibromyalgia like this: “when a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is a result of rigid and stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping” Currently, by Western standards, there is no known cure for Fibromyalgia. Symptoms are eased with the use of pain meds, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. Sleep and rest, exercise, healthy eating habits (some foods trigger symptoms), massage, lymph drainage, yoga and other alternate therapies assist to ease symptoms. To truly heal oneself, one has to go within. We have to take a hard look at ourselves and at our life, figure out what we are not happy with and what changes need to be made, then make a commitment to that change. Our bodies are capable of anything we put our minds to. Everything starts with a thought. Thoughts turn into emotions, and it’s what we choose to do with those emotions that decipher our life. Meditation is a wonderful tool that we can use to help to filter out the mindless chitter chatter that clouds our mind. Meditation will help us connect to our Higher Self and in return, help us find our life purpose which will give us meaning in this world and renewed passion for life. Although easier said than done, sometimes those emotions that run so deep within us and have internalized for so long, have been brought on by certain patterns or blocks within our own energy system. Trauma or stress rooted back to childhood that’s been so engrained in us that we are no longer consciously in control of the after-effects. The patterns that are held in the subconscious mind and are running 95% of our life. Integrated Healing, a modality of Kinesiology and based upon ancient Chinese acupuncture and Eastern healing methods, aims to restore balance and flow to a person’s energy system, which in turn allows the body to repair and heal itself. The changes are also made within the subconscious mind, and allows the person to move on from those past programs and leave behind their hindering effect, in order to create new positive programs. Other forms of this type of healing include, but are not limited to, hypnosis and repetitive affirmations. Hypnotherapy can be very effective at making those necessary changes and shifts needed within the subconscious mind. Even if on a conscious level, you decide to make a change in your life, if it does not sync up to your unconscious programming or beliefs, then the change will not happen. We need to change the subconscious first, to make an impact. Repetitive affirmations also help create a shift within the subconscious. The subconscious mind does not know what is real and what is not. When we constantly say affirmations to ourselves, read it and say it out aloud, and silently in our minds, several times a day over a long period of time, then we eventually start to believe it, even if we didn’t in the beginning. That repetition is what is needed for the subconscious to eventually know it to be true. The amount of time varies from person to person as everyone is unique and so is every situation and experience. Put your affirmation up on the wall in different parts of your home, on your desk at work, say it 20x every morning and evening while looking in the mirror after brushing your teeth. Use it as your screensaver, and listen to a looped recording of your own voice while falling asleep at night. Symptoms will start to ease up soon. For anyone experiencing Fibromyalgia, affirm: “I move easily and comfortably. My feet dance through life!” -Louise Hay Be easy on yourself. Figure out what you have a passion for and you’ll soon find your purpose. Every bump in the road is a lesson in itself. Appreciate the lesson then move on. Find ways of expressing your emotions and working through them in a healthy manner. Release stress and negativity. Value happiness and put yourself first. We cannot make anyone else happy, without being happy first. In closing, I’d like to end with this quote: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” –Pierre Teilhard de Chardin References: *Louise Hay- author of ‘You can heal your life’ and ‘You can heal your body’ *Dr Gabor Mate- Youtube –‘When the body says no’ *Claudia McNeely- patient of Fibromyalgia- Blog: ‘askclaudia.com’ Follow: *Kay Koekemor- for inspiration on overcoming anxiety, self love, inner healing, journeying into the Self and connecting to your divine Inner Power. @selfconnections *Melisha Reddy- for inspiration on overcoming auto-immunity, and journeying into her own self-healing journey on overcoming Rheumatoid Arthritis and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. @melishareddyhealed *Heal With Nexus- a collaboration between Melisha & Kay where we offer different themed Retreats and workshops such as ‘Healing naturally from Auto-Immune and Chronic Illness’ and run a course called K-Power where we teach you how to balance your body’s own energy system to help you deal with any issues, using simple but powerful energy healing techniques. @healwithnexus

Yesterday, I just about had a mini melt-down in the middle of the shopping centre! I went in to get some keys cut, and was told that I should go do my shopping and the keys will be ready when I'm done. All was going according to plan. I found everything I needed for my grocery shop, paid, then headed back to the locksmith. "We only accept cash ma'am". For some odd reason, this was the turning point for me. I had used the last of my cash on hand, for the groceries. "You can draw cash at the teller of the grocery store". This didn't seem a problem as the teller was opposite to the locksmith. But, my card was in the car! Which meant I had to walk all the way back to the car. It was far. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, daring to create a stream down my face, as I walked through the mall. I wasn't late for anything. I wasn't tired of walking. And all I had to do was take a trip to the car and back. This got me thinking... Why was I reacting this way? It really wasn't a big deal in the greater scheme of things. Why had this seemingly small event, caused such an emotional charge for me? Where did it come from, and how do I get myself out of this reactive feeling? Earlier in the day, I posted something to my Instagram account about focusing on the good parts of your reality. What good things in your life can you focus on, to keep your vibration high? I remembered this, and took my own advice... But when you're in the middle of 'all of it', how do you take yourself from here, to there? So, instead of focusing on my 'situation', I moved my attention to my surroundings- things happening around me. People. Things. Pictures and signs. And soon I started lifting myself up and into a better space. Soon, I started finding it easier to focus on the good in my life. And soon, I felt back to my normal self. My normal self, in case you didn't know, is generally made up of happiness, positivity, calm, warmth and love. It wasn't always like this. I believe that these qualities are the result of daily meditation, exercise and just living my life in a way that feels right to me. From listening to motivational speakers and reading inspiring books... None of which, I had done for the past 3 days. And why, had I neglected this part of me? The answer is... change of routine. That's it! It was a gentle reminder to keep up with these simple yet impactful activities, even when my routine changes. It was a reminder of how resourceful meditation and being mindful can be. But it was also a reminder that it was ok to feel reactive like I did yesterday, and that I am human, and that being reactive is a natural human response. It is ok, as it reminds me of knowing what I want through knowing what I don't.