Being Reactive

Yesterday, I just about had a mini melt-down in the middle of the shopping centre! I went in to get some keys cut, and was told that I should go do my shopping and the keys will be ready when I'm done.

All was going according to plan. I found everything I needed for my grocery shop, paid, then headed back to the locksmith.

"We only accept cash ma'am".

For some odd reason, this was the turning point for me.

I had used the last of my cash on hand, for the groceries.

"You can draw cash at the teller of the grocery store".

This didn't seem a problem as the teller was opposite to the locksmith. But, my card was in the car! Which meant I had to walk all the way back to the car. It was far.

I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, daring to create a stream down my face, as I walked through the mall. I wasn't late for anything. I wasn't tired of walking. And all I had to do was take a trip to the car and back.

This got me thinking... Why was I reacting this way? It really wasn't a big deal in the greater scheme of things. Why had this seemingly small event, caused such an emotional charge for me? Where did it come from, and how do I get myself out of this reactive feeling?

Earlier in the day, I posted something to my Instagram account about focusing on the good parts of your reality. What good things in your life can you focus on, to keep your vibration high?

I remembered this, and took my own advice... But when you're in the middle of 'all of it', how do you take yourself from here, to there?

So, instead of focusing on my 'situation', I moved my attention to my surroundings- things happening around me. People. Things. Pictures and signs. And soon I started lifting myself up and into a better space. Soon, I started finding it easier to focus on the good in my life. And soon, I felt back to my normal self.

My normal self, in case you didn't know, is generally made up of happiness, positivity, calm, warmth and love.

It wasn't always like this. I believe that these qualities are the result of daily meditation, exercise and just living my life in a way that feels right to me. From listening to motivational speakers and reading inspiring books... None of which, I had done for the past 3 days. And why, had I neglected this part of me?

The answer is... change of routine. That's it!

It was a gentle reminder to keep up with these simple yet impactful activities, even when my routine changes. It was a reminder of how resourceful meditation and being mindful can be. But it was also a reminder that it was ok to feel reactive like I did yesterday, and that I am human, and that being reactive is a natural human response. It is ok, as it reminds me of knowing what I want through knowing what I don't.